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Numb. Monday, December 19, 2011
"count it all joy when you meet trials of any kind, for the testing of your faith produces steadfastness" James 1:2-3It's hard God, really. God, help me. I feel so numb within i can't even think of why I'm crying so hard. I feel like part of me is missing, if I've really lost my gb uniform. I feel irresponsible, worthless, not even fit to be a gb girl. I rmb the first badge I got, the first chevron I got ironed onto my frock. I'm crying not cos I'm afraid of the punishment I may get. But cos I'm utterly disappointed and shameful of myself. The tears stop whenever I tell myself that it's not possible that it's real, and that in any moment, they would come in and tell me they've found it. But God knows this isn't the first time I lost my stuff, I'm always losing my stuff, and each time i got them back. But somehow I feel it ain't gonna be so easy this time round. Like God wants me to try out this new obstacle. A part of me wanna blame Him for making my life difficult now that I'm not stressing over my studies, and I know that's just Satan. Gosh I don't feel like going to sch and face those gb girls tmr. Will just feel like a total failed senior. 7:07 AM
I say "GO GO GO..."
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